What is your definition of a Man? If you ask that question to a group of men you'll hear many different answers depending upon environment and upbringing.

Some may say he is a man when he has reached a certain age, some may say when he has moved out from under mom's roof and has his own car and apartment, and some believe that making a certain amount of money is attaining manhood. None of these things, however, are characteristics of a man. Manhood is a process, a transition from maleness.

The chart below states some of the differences between a male and a man.

Are You A Male Or A Man



does not carry a grudge

looks for ways to get even

looks to better himself; he invests in his success

complains that he has to stay where he is

gives to his community

takes from his community

is measured by his character

is measured by his sex drive

is a protector of women in general and committed to one woman in particular

views a woman as an object of pleasure, and isn't committed to anything!

word is his bond

has no word, he will tell you what you want to hear

A Real man is a leader

is a follower

thinks with is big head

thinks with his little head

uses his intellect and emotions to make decisions

makes emotional decisions

Males Are Born But Men Are Made

As you can see there are some distinctions between males and men. Being a man is not easy, especially when you understand a man's roles and responsibilities. I was speaking with a brother one day, and he said to me, "Bro, this being a man thing is hard!" I knew exactly where he was coming from. Walking in manhood can be overwhelming because were going through the process of being reshaped, renewed, restored and completely retrained.

Most of us have been operating as males with sprinklings of manhood. For example, some of us may find a good woman, marry her, provide for her financially, sometimes emotionally, and do most things right. After about nine months to a year when she starts "trippin" because we're hanging out with the fellas, that's when we meet the other woman and revert to being a male. You see, a man has emotions but is not ruled by them. So when his wife starts "trippin", he doesn't allow her actions to dictate his reaction. A man understands that he is held accountable by God for the way he treats his wife regardless of the way she may be treating him.

The Making Of A Man

God created man to have dominion, to be a ruler, and to master his environment He created us in the beginning to be totally dependent on Him, He taught us directly. He instructed us and gave us our assignments. So, the making of a man was founded in and through Him. The only way this transition into manhood can take place is that we go back to Him.

1 Corinthians 13:11 states "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things".

Keys To Becoming A Real Man

God created man to be a Provider, Protector, Cultivator, Visionary, and Leader

Provider: In Genesis 2:15 God put His man, Adam in a garden and gave him his first assignment, to work. Work was given to him to advance the purpose of God. God wanted Adam to have fulfillment, and to enable him to provide for his own needs as well as those for whom he would eventually be responsible for.

Notice that before he gave the man a woman he gave him work. Therefore a man needs work before he takes on a wife. A provider finds a way to supply for his family's need. He plans ahead and anticipates needs before they arise.

Protector: When God put us in the garden to take care of it, not only did he want us to work in it and cultivate it, but he wanted us to also protect it, and all the animals, the plants, and the woman that he put there for us.

We are natural protectors, designed by God to protect everything we are responsible for.

Cultivator: To cultivate means to make something better than it was when you first received it. Look at your woman, how many of us are really cultivating our women?

Single Brothers: You should be cultivating every woman that comes into your circle. They should leave you a better person, NOT Pregnant, or emotionally abused after we've run so much game on them.

Married Men: We have this picture in our minds of what we want our wives to be and when she doesn't measure up to that we blame her. Ask yourself, what have you put into her? What kind of deposits have you made into her spirit?

Have you cultivated her to be what you envision? Or what she envisions for herself? Do you know what her goals and dreams are? How are you helping her achieve them? A woman is like a seed, and we are water and light for her. If we pour into her and shine our light on her, she will blossom into a beautiful, compassionate, nurturing, submissive, help mate. Then you can look at her proudly and say "look at what I have cultivated".

Visionary:Proverbs 29:18 says "Where there is no vision the people perish".

To have vision means to conceive something in your mind and then move toward bringing that vision into reality. Every man should have a vision for his life. If he is married, he should have a vision for his family. The vision should include but not limited to Faith, Family, and Finances. We should have short term and long term goals, and they should be attainable.

Most of us don't have a vision for our family and we wonder why our wives and children won't submit to us. Brothers, look at the word submission, the prefix "sub" means under, and mission simply means goal or vision. So submitting is coming under one's goals and vision. Well, brother she won't submit if you don't have a vision for her to submit under.

Leader: Every man is created by God to lead and a man should display leadership characteristics. Some men run away from the responsibility of leadership. They are selfish, only concerned about their own needs and not the needs of others.

Take a look at some leadership characteristics listed below:

  • A leader is a servant
  • A leader is disciplined
  • A leader is the first one up in the morning and the last one to go to bed
  • A leader sets the tone
  • A leader has integrity
  • A leader has character
  • A leader's word is his bond
  • A leader is a role model
  • A leader provides, protects, cultivates, and has vision
  • A leader leads by example











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Alvin Toffler in his book Rethinking the Future.

"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn

Then Jesus said to the disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me. If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life."


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